Mistress

The shrink prescribed me three little blue tablets.

Told me to take them every morning with water.

Take them to fend off reality. The brute.

Also, a little pink and gray capsule.

God only knows what’s in that one.

But it, too, must be taken, she said.

Who am I to question her?

She is clearly a professional. That word

which answers all misgivings. Allays all fears.

She could tell me anything. I’d believe it.

Because she’s a professional. See that diploma?

Yes, there it is. It means she knows things.

Intricate things about the inner workings of my mind.

It means she sees through my wiles. Sees through

every misrepresentation I throw at her. The sorceress.

In the parking lot outside her office this morning,

I saw her make a moving dismount off her broomstick

— fell right into stride. Maybe I didn’t see it. I don’t know.

“Take the blue pills. Also the pink and gray capsules,” she says.

“Yes, mistress. As you wish,” I say.

“Have they been working for you? Do you feel better?” she asks.

“Oh, yes. Much better, mistress. Please don’t kill me,” I say.

“Good. Very good.” She renews my prescription, colors in her eyes.

And I squirm, feeling exposed.

Feeling like she’s having her way with me.

Like we’ve just done something we know we shouldn’t have,

but enjoyed nonetheless. Enjoyed all the more because of, even.

The intimacy of it, like a confessional.

The unacknowledged thrill of this confidentiality.

Yes mistress. As you wish, my sweet.

In fact, let’s run away together. Just you and me

with our tablets and capsules forever.

Because it’s altogether possible, forgive me, that I

am deeply in love with you.

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DT Holt is an incarcerated poet whose work appears or is forthcoming in literary journals such as EPOCH, RHINO, The Lyric, Westward Quarterly, Poem, Blue Unicorn, Chiron Review, Caveat Lector, Haight Ashbury and others. He recently completed work on a 350-page memoir of his incarceration, Up the River: Finding Humanity in an American Prison. DT studied history, philosophy and religion in college. He will be moving to Colorado to pursue writing and, likely, cycling hill-climbs.

DT Holt is pictured on the right with two family members on the left.