you say fuck me so loud you swallow
the sounds from next door my fingers
slide into your clit soaking
my grandmas body stopped
two hours ago & yours arches
towards me it is almost ontological
my calloused palms melt into your waist
& i squeeze my grandmas waist
wasting away you breathe my name
i shove my tongue
into your mouth fuck me
too i am pleading spreading
my fingers into your hair inhaling
sweaty sandalwood & grandma spreads
too her lungs too thin each cancer cell slowly
but surely with intention i grab
onto each strand my fingers want
something to hold that they can call theirs
touch tuck me into a lotus flower
grandmas favorite but i tangle myself in
its anatomy & my hands fail
my groan a severing
a middle finger my eyes closed
her body shaking still
in a coffin your nipples touch my nose
my mother & her mother & their breasts
& mine gentle i want to be
how can i be in this body
Karen Zheng is a first-generation, queer, Chinese-American. Her poetry has been featured in Emerson Review, Sine Theta Magazine, Honey Literary, The Wave, and elsewhere. She is a Breadloaf Writers’ Conference Contributor in 2022 and a Roots. Wounds. Words Poetry Fellow in 2023. In her free time, she hosts the Mx. Asian American podcast and Tucked in Bed podcast.
