Autoerotic Abecedarian
At the apex of night, limbs splayed across the too-small bed, I allow my hands to wander towards the heat of my cunt, desire sharp and pulsing. Beneath the shawl of darkness, I shape my flesh like a block of clay, all its excess overflowing onto the sheets. The smooth flat landscape of my chest ballooning with breath, teeth grinding like derelict machinery. In the slick heat of here, I become my self: an embodiment of purest instinct. The scent of my want intoxicating enough to justify its undoing. Before I even knew my body, I knew its catalogue of disgrace: the insatiable blood- lust, the propensity for leakage. O shame, my familiar shadow, undress me with your needy mouth, your gnarled fingers. I am open and waiting for you to make a private spectacle of me. Do you hear it, the quickening of my heart? The volatile rhythm of unrepentant rapture, my insides spilling onto the carpet like a pool of mercury. Tired of all these selfish lovers, I undulate my hips under my voracious hand, wet and shining with want, unfurling like a xeranthemum inside me. O shame, you unwelcome god, at the zenith of my pleasure, you are there.
Ally Ang is a gaysian poet and editor based in Seattle. Their work has been published in Queer Nature: A Poetry Anthology, Foglifter, Columbia Journal, and elsewhere. Find them at allysonang.com or @TheOceanIsGay.
