you call a man instead of your mother/ it only makes you miss her more/she called you four times between the hours of nine and two/ perhaps it is better to tell a lie/
insist you couldn't/ hear her rings over the/ unforgiving/ tempo kept by the/ made up /band you said you saw that evening/ perhaps it is better than admitting/ you wear her/ college ring/ twist it three times counter clockwise / steal her/ scarfs and sleep with them when you feel your /
heaviest/
how you /feel guilty/ in trying /to find her/ in forced kinships /and tall buildings /and frozen look alikes for childhood meals /and young mothers reading their daughters books on the train books about little birds/
falling/
blindly/
out of their home
their mothers/ are worrying themselves/ sick/ /their chicklets/ tread/ to the ends of the earth /and/ wondering/ how/ the nest /must have/ scorned them/ to deserve/ such a punishment /and/ i feel/ sorrow spring/ from the corners of my eyes / traipse hotly down my cheeks / and again/ i make/ an empty nest of my arms call it /a mother's embrace/
Mekleit Dix (she/her) is a Black, queer researcher and poet based in New York and Los Angeles. Her research revolves around the cultural understanding of sexual wellness within Black communities. As a poet and writer, Mekleit's words have been featured in A Garden of Black Joy: Global Poetry From the Edges of Liberation and Living, The Black Youth Project, and Lesbians Are Miracles.
