Pothos
Today I rest, brimming with purple.
I press down on the tenderness
a minor note tumbles out.
The needle, earlier, like a mirror
a window. I count the clouds
on the band-aid. I count
my reflections in the mirror.
In Tucson we drink absinthe
while Chris reads my tarot cards,
something about another life,
and leaving something behind.
The bruise greens and I plant
a pothos. It has been 1 week
since Denisa passed and I plant
the pothos for her. We were both
sick, she said, as the cancer
margined on her bladder.
They stuck me 7 times, she told me
They couldn’t find my veins. I cried
so much. We exchange needle stories
while the sun sets here and hangs
like a tangerine in Arizona –
the cards like waves across the table,
the absinthe flowering verdant
in Denisa’s mouth. What was I to know
of the life – my life and hers –
that I was about to leave behind?
I hold the pink pill in my hand.
I lose my balance, my memory.
I ask the psychiatrist are you sure?
This? And my kidneys? The monthly tests?
What I gave up for you gave me
more years. What I gave up for you
gave me more years with her,
the bruise flowering to pink.
Michelle Moncayo is a Dominican/Ecuadorian poet in New Jersey. Her work explores diaspora, queer identity, and mental/physical illness. She graduated with her MFA from Randolph College in 2024. She received a 2020 Fellowship from the New Jersey State Council on the Arts. She has received fellowships from SPACE at Ryder Farm, Vermont Studio Center, Sundress Academy for the Arts, CantoMundo, and VONA. Her poetry has appeared in Até Mais: An Anthology of Latinx Futurisms, Broadsided Press, No Tender Fences: An Anthology of Immigrant & First-Generation American Poetry, Palette Poetry, and Ninth Letter. Michelle has been a featured reader for Of Restless Gardens — Poetry & Environmental Justice, presented by CantoMundo in collaboration with the Poetry Coalition, The Muse Writers Center: Hispanic Heritage Month Reading, Don’t Touch My Hair Reading Series, and Everyday We Get More Illegal: Presented by Emotive Fruition & CantoMundo. You can find her at michellemoncayoart.net, and @mmon1392. She wrote this poem in memory of her lifelong best friend Denisa, who passed away from Ewing’s Sarcoma.
