A Note on Grief

something hooked between / my shoulder blades / tugs and I melt metallic / from the corners of my mouth / frothing silver lined foam / that crumbles once it’s past my chin / for me to stand on the rubble of / my own sterling saliva / as I turn myself to ore

and there I am again / turning one thing into another / as soon as it’s past my tongue / spewing earth in hopes of / catching something solid in my palms / ready for the pieces to grind / against each other until the dead become / sand that can pool along my lifeline

I am leaving traces of them / all over the floor / regret churning liquid lullabies / into increasingly guilty flesh / body in metamorphosis / hands turned to feet turned to mouths / slobbering more dirt until all there is / is the filth I thought would cleanse me

I cannot help / but to be buried alive by it / a mound gluing itself together / a mausoleum built around body / a fire smothered but still breathing / a void expanding and collapsing / endless possibilities mummified / the only solid thing / among the ghosts

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Alex Aimee Kist (they/them) is a poet, organizer, and world-class yearner with current ties to the Boston Poetry Slam. Their work is influenced by their connection to queer, non-binary, and disabled communities. You can find their work featured in Beyond Queer Words, The Closed Eye Open, Quartz Literary, and the 2021 Poetry Marathon Anthology. Their respective slam teams both placed second at the 2024 Midwest Mash-Up and VoxPop 2024. Alex believes that sharing personal stories is a radical act of self-love and hopes to empower others to do the same.